why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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