nut hugger
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
