fuck your aforementioned shoe
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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