Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
