Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
