You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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