it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I am mentally ready for anal.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
