Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
