Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
