If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
