You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize