after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
3 2 1 whiskey
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
