This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
