what if every blade of grass was a penis?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
