I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
