great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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