I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
