This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
