Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Randomize
