Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
that is very illegal...i love you.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize