More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
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