I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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