Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
