Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
