There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
