before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
