He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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