ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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