I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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