I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just cropdusted the office
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
