So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Randomize
