He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
