So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
