Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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