You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
