I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
