I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
