white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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