I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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