There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
