What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
