I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
