idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
