he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
