I'm drive I can fine osifer
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
