Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Pants are for mortals
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
