Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
