I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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