i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
