I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
