My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I hate all girls vehemently.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Found the puke drawer
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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