my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
