Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
