dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
