Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
