discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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