he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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