after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
