just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
