I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
