Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
